~Fairytales are written dreams~*

Sunday, May 04, 2014

   “一个知道结局还去选择爱的人，没权利要求对方改变。”
   最近看到了一篇《步步惊心》对于若曦的评语，觉得作者写得太合我心意了。若曦可以为四阿哥抗旨拒婚，为十三阿哥求情，在雍正登基后又为八阿哥等人求情，她毫无疑问是勇敢的，与众多阿哥们相交时也是付出了真心。可她又偏偏因为预知了八阿哥的结局而放弃了他们之间的爱情，在终于和四阿哥守得云开见月明时选择与十四阿哥离开，这样的若曦让我觉得太矛盾。老实说，我觉得若曦比很多人（包括我）都勇敢真诚善良。至少如果换成是我一定选择明则保身随遇而安，制造不出这么多轰轰烈烈的情感，可是我就是没办法喜欢若曦。优柔寡断是每个人都有的问题，但是若曦仿佛对待人生最重要的问题优柔寡断了一辈子，做出了决定却还要后悔痛苦，弄的自己累身边的人也累。这种性格说得好听是善良多情（不止是爱情还有亲情友情），可说得难听点儿就是没有为自己的决定承担后果的勇气与决心。决定爱上八阿哥后就不该放弃，决定跟随雍正就不该离宫，决定离开紫禁城就不该再留恋。也许她心里总是希望能找到一个完美的结局，可是世间安得两全法，不负如来不负卿？刚见面时四阿哥送给了她一句“既来之，则安之”，可惜她一辈子都没做到。
   虽然觉得《步步惊心》比起《宫锁心玉》，无论在选角、造型、台词、取景等都好很多，但我还是比较喜欢晴川。至少当她决定跟着八阿哥后，便不再反悔，“如果只有十年的世间，在这十年，就要让他成为全京城最快乐的男人”。自己所爱之人在哪儿，哪里便是心之所向，哪里便是天堂。（总认为若曦如果深爱着雍正就不该一心想要离开紫禁城。想要离开，表示对她而言有着比这份爱情更重要的东西，那既然如此干嘛还要心心念念郁郁寡欢？）所以虽然都是清穿女，虽然若曦比晴川更聪明更有才华，可是晴川远比若曦幸福。性格决定命运，若曦一生的悲剧，跟她性格中的矛盾脱不了关系。

the dreams exposed ;

Friday, May 27, 2011

To my sister. Because you brighten up my world.

I like to live in my own world sometimes
There's a churchbell there that chimes
Whenever I am feeling low
I close my eyes and that's where I'd go

Where there are no monsters lurking in the wood
And the wolf is friends with Red Riding Hood
Where beggers would ride and pigs can fly
And blue birds are soaring in the sky

When I rearrange the constellations at night
Scorpio and Orion meet in all their might
And that pot of gold at the rainbow's end
Is more than a mirage built on pillars of sand

Close your eyes
Can you see the world I'm painting
Can you hear the magic calling
Just believe
Come with me

To where the great white sharks play with the dolphins
In the cystal blue sea with identical grins
The hunter puts down his gun and the butcher his knife
As they join the world in the ode to life

To where the dreams come true if you only dare
And nightingales are singing everywhere
Look at the butterflies dancing in the day
Let all the troubles be blown far, far away

Now you know
Now you see the world I'm painting
Now you hear the magic calling
Just close your eyes and believe
Just believe

the dreams exposed ;

Friday, February 04, 2011

《一时瑜亮》

人海茫茫知音难求
你我在战场上驰骋风云
最大的愿望却是遇到一个听得懂自己琴音的人
你的琴声告诉我你需要朋友
其实我又何尝不是如此

一次交会的视线
一个会心的微笑
千言万语尽在不言中
明天的我们或许就是敌人
但现在和当下也许已经足够

最不想遇到的对手是你
只因最了解我的也是你
能与你携手作战是我毕生的荣幸
虽然你我都清楚下次的沙场相见
你我将不再肩并肩

乱世之中的人生总有太多无奈
但正是乱世让你我相逢
乱世出英雄或许我应该感激
两条平行线能有相遇的机会

与你的合奏是心与心的灵犀
倾听的不是琴声是心声
弹拨的不是琴弦是心弦
已经好久没弹琴了
我想以后也不会再弹

士为知己者死
我能做的却都已经做了
管鲍二人不是你我所能效仿
瑜是瑜亮是亮
你我都有各自的抱负与方向

如果还相信朋友就点灯吧
还是那个云淡风轻的笑容
但夜空中上百盏的孔明灯
是进攻的信号
更是希望是信念

我会好好珍惜萌萌的
正如我会好好珍惜这段时光
相会时短暂的光亮足够温暖一生
人生得一知己
亮已无憾

瑜亦无憾

the dreams exposed ;

Monday, September 27, 2010

I have officially finished 33 books from my booklist consisting of 1001 books. That's nearly 3.3%. Quite an accomplishment, if you ask me.

Right, who am I kidding? At this rate I'll be really old before I can finish the list. But I've been thinking, that doesn't really matter, since I'm not purely reading for the sake of completing the list, but also because I love to read and I'm simply using the list as a gauge to find good books. And I'll say, some of those books are really good.

Since my last post, I've read about 4 books, if I remember correctly. They're all rather memorable and touching, especially the last book (which I'd only finish reading today), To Kill A Mockingbird. It's wonderfully written, a meaningful story told in a poignant manner. The way the writer crafts her words is almost an art, and the simple yet beautiful languages touches the reader in ways that I had never expected. It's quite a simple story, actually, almost cliche, but at the same time it's so unique. It's a story about prejudice and acceptance, showcasing the best and worst side about human nature. It rather reminds me of The Book Thief, in a sense, though of course it's much less tragic. Writing about prejudices and hypocrisy of society through the eyes of Scout is a touch of genius; the innocence of Scout and the children questions the fundamentals of certain views that many of us take for granted, and the wrongness of the prejudices is brought out all the more by the stark contrast. It requires certain reading between the lines, certainly, because a young girl, be it six years old in the beginning of the book or eight in the end, most definitely cannot understand or see things that the reader might have guessed. Meanwhile, I really just love Atticus. It's quite strange, because I fancy I like him even more than Scout, and usually my favorite character is the main character and the first character that I encounter. But then again, what's not to like about him? He's kind, wise, principled, witty and easy-going. Not to mention brave enough to do what is right over what is easy. Sometimes, I think we should all learn to look at things through the perspectives of others, especially children, because we might actually learn something that we didn't know we were ignorant of.

Our Mutual Friend is another Charles Dickens story, and I can safely say that it's one of my favorites now. True to Dickens' style, it is another witty satire, this time mocking how money can make people do all sorts of things, when in the end it is people who do not lust for riches that actually get their happy endings. I think that Lizzie's one of the character I like the most, since she's wise, kind and pretty. Well, that, and the fact that she's the first likeable character I met. And naturally, John Harmon/Rokesmith is a great guy too, and I must say I had rather hoped for the two of them to end up together. Oh well, at least they all got their happily-ever-after.

The Old Man and the Sea is a story that I'd been intending to read since a very long time ago, as it's quite a famous book. Then again, lots of books are famous and I daresay I have yet to read most of them. In any case, I did finally get around to reading it, and it's good. Painfully frank, and not much of a plot, since it mostly involves an old man fishing in the sea and his 'battle' with the gigantic marlin and his subsequent fight with the sharks, but there's something underlying the whole story that makes it sad, almost painful. I suppose it can be seen as a lament to the dying of traditions, and how the older generation is gradually fading into history, with all its talks about how the old man is not lucky any more, and the comparisons between his fishing methods and the newer, more modern ones. How, in the face of change, we become ignorant and unappreciative of our past, even as it struggles to survive, because there are just some values, such as respect for all life, that should not, and cannot be turned into history. Change is inevitable, I suppose, but the fading of a culture is always sad.

Lastly, there is the Scarlet Letter, which I have tried to read a couple of times but always failed. This time round, I forced myself to get past the few chapters, and discovered that it is actually rather captivating. Granted, the language is really archaic, with all its 'thy's and 'thou's, which is probably why I could never finish it before, but the writing and the plot is quite good. As for the theme, I suppose it's one of sinning and forgiveness, about good and evil, and how thin the line between the two is. The emphasis on the scarlet letter is a little weird, but I suppose it's the writer trying to link the title to the story. That happened with Our Mutual Friend as well, though that was only once, and even then it seemed rather contrived. I guess that's what happens when you know about the title before finishing the story, such that every link to the title sticks out like black ink on a white background.

I'm not sure whether I should start on my next book or not, to be honest. I mean, I do have exams coming up. *sigh* So many good books, and so little time to read them.

the dreams exposed ;

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I really should be revising for my exams. I mean, Physics is tomorrow, and it's one of my weakest subjects. It's probably because I really cannot grasp the concepts. At least the other subjects are more or less common sense, you know. Amazingly, I actually revised for the whole afternoon, without once yielding to the temptation of reading fanfiction. Of course, it might be due to the fact that I've pretty much exhausted the archive of stories that I'm currently interested in.

My sister calls me sadistic, and she's most likely right. I happen to like angsty stories, especially those that contain emotional agony for the main character. But I really don't like romance. I'm not exactly sure why, but I think it's got to do with how the characters tend to put their lovers above everything else in their lives the moment they fall in love. And to add insult to injury, they can't even fall in love with someone who can make them happy. What's the point of falling in love if all you're going to do is to be miserable all day anyway?

Personally, I really can't see how romantic love can take precedence over so many other things that are just as, if not even more, important, like family and close friends. Perhaps it's because I haven't experienced anything like that yet, so it's just not something that I can imagine or understand. That kind of all-consuming love that swallows you up until nothing of your original self remains, until you are no longer whole but one half of a soul, until you cannot survive without the other party - it seems too much like obsession for my liking. I can understand loving someone enough to be willing to die for him or her, but so much that you are willing to condemn the world and betray everything that you have ever known? Keeping someone safe and alive at the expense of her happiness because you cannot bear losing her - that's not love. It's pure possessiveness and selfishness. And yeah, in case you can't tell, this is a rant against Twilight, Star Wars, and even Harry Potter, where the male protagonist seems to be obsessed about keeping his girlfriend/wife safe. It's understandable in Harry and Remus' case, not so much for Edward, and Anakin Skywalker is really just freaky. Seriously, Anakin's my favourite character in Star Wars (since I watched Revenge of the Sith first), but poor Padme. Still, I suppose it can't be helped, given how the fate of Darth Vader has long been decided. Makes you feel sad, really, how it just seems like an inescapable destiny that results in tragedy for everyone involved.

Ok, I really should go back to revising now.

the dreams exposed ;

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I really need to update my posts more often. Then again, my resolutions almost never work. I suppose with the lack of audience, there is also a lack of motivation to write anything. I think I'm starting to emphatise with all the fanfic authors online when they're asking for reviews. Perhaps I should make an effort to leave a review for all the stories that I've read.

I've dug out a list of 1001 books to read in your lifetime. I downloaded it as per my grandma's instruction a couple of years ago, but it's been sitting in my cabinet collecting dust all these while. Anyway, I went through the list, and to my dismay I found that I've only read about 22 books. So I came to a decision: I shall make it my goal in life to finish the entire list. After all, everyone need an impossible goal in life, don't they?

To start on the journey of fulfilling my goal, I found a couple of books in my home (which I had never read) and started to regain my habit of reading books, just like how it was before I had discovered fanfiction. Oh, I still read fanfics, of course. It's nearly impossible to stop now, but as long as it doesn't interfere with my studies, oh well. Getting back to the topic, thus far this year, I've read Things Fall Apart, Lord of the Flies, Hard Times and Surfacing. I'm currently halfway through Cry, the Beloved Country. The funny thing is, none of these books are actually cheery or optimistic. In fact, the first three are, quite frankly, vaguely disturbing. Especially Surfacing. Cry, the Beloved Country has a more central theme, I guess, as do Things Fall Apart. Both are about how the Western culture clash with the indigenous in the developing worlds. At least for the former we can have the consolation that South Africa is a much better place now. Hard Times has quite a clear theme, too, which is only natural considering it's a satire, mocking how the materialistic society and an education centred on nothing but hard facts is eroding the more important aspects of human life. My favourite quote is when the ex-school master asked his student, 'Have you a heart?' and the student replied with, 'Yes sir, I do, it's an organ (starts defining what a heart is).' Talk about irony.

Lord of the Flies, meanwhile, is different, and the themes actually make me rather uncomfortable. I'm the kind of person who would prefer to believe that the human nature is fundamentally good, but LotF really contradicts it. A group of boys, removed from society's views of right and wrong, descends into savage madness, bloodthirsty and uncivilised. Does this mean that we're only moral because the society that we have been born to and live in would condemn us if we were not? Our sense of right and wrong - is it innate, or is it instilled within us by society? If no one is watching, if we can know for certain that we would not have to suffer any consequences, would we behave in a similar manner as well? I don't think I will. My beliefs are too deeply ingrained within me. But that brings me to a even more difficult question. What then, makes society right? We've often read stories where individuals would do the 'right' thing and stand up against society for their beliefs, but we only think that society in the past is wrong because society today is different. It's only logical, yes, that morality is a man-made concept. And yet, to think that something so fundamental within our society, something on which the entire society is based, something which determines how society functions - to think that it is so subjective - it's a scary thought. Because then, the only thing we have to justify our actions would be because the majority says so. The next thing you know, you are faced with the question, why should the majority be right?

On the island in LotF, the group of savage boys are the majority. When we're told not to do something, we'll ask, 'Why?'. The answer would always be, 'Because it's not right.' But these boys, still so young and ignorant, almost untouched by society's ingrained beliefs, go deeper than we are generally comfortable with. They ask again, 'Why?' And this time, we find that we can give no answer. Then again, the very word civilised probably means that once we're away from civilisation, we're not civilised anymore. I've always wondered why lust is one of the seven sins, but the lust for power - for anything, really - is really dangerous, if this book is any indication.

Surfacing is another matter once again. In fact, until now, I still have no clear idea what the book is really about. Oh, I understood the plot perfectly well, of course, but the ideas and themes are another matter entirely. A woman and her relationships - with her boyfriend, her ex, her so-called friends, her parents, and her aborted child, which later links to nature. The entire story revolves around her search of her father who disappeared, but it seems more like a spiritual exploration, mostly revolving around her guilt towards the abortion and drives her to explore the complex relationship humans have with nature. What struck me most about the book is actually the way it shows how thin the line between human beings and the other animal is. That is, of course, assuming that there is even a line in the first place. For, really, what makes us so different?

the dreams exposed ;

Saturday, May 01, 2010

《风铃雨》是我在空闲时写的一个故事，因为没地方放，就先写在这里。

《风铃雨》
--取材自《风铃雨花飞花》、《四女绝唱》

三年了。

三年了，一直都没来过这里。也许是因为虽然已经过了一千零九十五天，但只要一想到她，心还是会隐隐作痛吧。很多时候，越是刻骨铭心，失去了也越是痛。而这里，毕竟是我们以前常来之处。

这里的摆设几乎一点也没变，还是米白色的围栏，还是大理石的桌椅。几天前刚下过雨，一树的风铃花开得娇艳欲滴，却不再是熟悉的粉红色。放眼一树的血红，令我有些错愕，但随即想起她说过，风铃花的颜色是会变的。

一朵风铃花从树上徐徐飘落，一抹嫣红，仿佛又看见了她的身影。她生性活泼，从来都坐不住，有时我们俩儿坐着聊天，一阵夏风吹过，她总会忍不住在这满园落英中跳舞。只见那满天满地的风铃花飞舞飘落，回旋缤纷，而她就在这风铃雨中跳着、笑着。在如诗如画的花飞花中，她翩翩起舞的身影，仿佛化作一只蝴蝶，美丽中总带着一丝凄凉。也许那是一种预感，感觉到她有一天真的会如蝴蝶般飞走吧。

风铃花这个名字，其实也是她告诉我的。还记得她第一次带我来这里的时候，那风铃花也开得和现在一样灿烂。

“紫樱，这就叫风铃花。不过它还有一个名字，叫新加坡樱花，和你一样，都有一个‘樱’字哦。”

“紫樱，你知道吗？我觉得这风铃花很有趣。你听，风铃，风铃，听起来是不是很像‘凤吟灵’？”

“紫樱，这风铃花，既有你的名字，也有我的名字，很神奇吧。就让它代表我们的友谊常青，好不好？”

不经意间，泪水已模糊了视线。这三年来我一直努力压制的回忆如决堤的河水，一涌而出。没想到，过了三年，她的容貌在脑海中仍然清晰可见，她的语音依旧仿佛在耳边萦绕。

“紫樱，这风铃花，真的很像小巧精致的风铃吧。”

“紫樱，我们说好了，要当一辈子的朋友哦。”

一辈子的朋友。吟灵，我们的确当了一辈子的朋友。可是，一辈子对我们而言，不够。十年的友谊太短暂了。三年前的那一场车祸，夺取了太多、太多。夺走了你的生命，夺走了在星空下许下的愿望，夺走了一个个还未来得及实现的梦想。但是，吟灵，它夺不走我们之间的友谊，因为这份友谊会被我永远珍藏在心中。而在那遥远的地方，这份友谊也在你心里，对吧？

又是一阵夏风，又是漫天飞舞的风铃花，只是翩翩起舞的她早已不在。这一支舞，就让我来代她跳吧。

风铃雨中，仿佛又有两个女生在时间的长河外尽情地跳着、笑着。。。

the dreams exposed ;